In the future we'll all be gay
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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