Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
