Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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