First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
