someone owes me an orgasm
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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