I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
