it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
