i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
