If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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