You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
