Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
