Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Two words: blizzard sex
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
