the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
