i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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