Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
