Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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