i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
