great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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