yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
