I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize