this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
