I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
