Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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