Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
