I got chris browned last night
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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