im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
