dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
