Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
