Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
