i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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