Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize