She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
