We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
