O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
