their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
