I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize