why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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