can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
