Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
