dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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