do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
How external is "for external use only"?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
