Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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