FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
