You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
