Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
