Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
