Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
