you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
