haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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