so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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