so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
