let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
