I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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