You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
