Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She announced her abortion via fbk
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
