Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
