Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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