guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
