Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
