I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
