Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
