You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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