It's Friday. Sex?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
