we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
