do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
