return my video game
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
