Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize