One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
