I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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